Familiarity does not mean consent, say speakers at Stand With Her campaign | Hyderabad News
Hyderabad: Consent cannot be assumed from familiarity or a previous interaction, writer and film director Hasith Goli said at the ninth edition of the ‘Stand With Her’ campaign, of which TOI is a media partner, in Hyderabad on Saturday.Speaking at the first panel discussion on the theme ‘Everyday Consent, Desire & Mutual Decision-Making’, Goli said people needed to be more vocal about seeking and respecting consent instead of assuming that one interaction automatically implied agreement to what followed. “People need to understand that meeting someone does not mean they have consented to everything that follows. We need to be more vocal about consent and respect each other’s boundaries,” he said.IPS officer Charu Sinha, who was recently transferred from the post of DG, Women Safety Wing, said consent was an everyday practice of asking rather than assuming what another person wanted. It had to be freely given, without pressure, guilt or fear of an angry reaction, she said. “Consent is a skill that needs to be practised in everyday situations, whether it is physical touch, taking photographs or any other interaction. A person should be able to say no without feeling guilty or being made uncomfortable,” she said.Sinha further said consent was specific and could not be carried forward from one interaction to another. “A yes to one thing does not mean yes to everything else. Just because someone has agreed to something in the past does not mean they have agreed to it again. Familiarity does not take away a person’s right to be asked,” she said.Writer and film director Ram Jagadeesh said he had come across several cases of sexual abuse that remained buried in police record rooms, highlighting how abuse often went unaddressed. “The Pocso Act is extremely important because we see cases of even six-year-old children being sexually abused. Consent has to be understood within its limits and should never be taken for granted,” he said.The second panel discussion, on the theme ‘Healthy Relationships – Communication, Equality, Boundaries & Care’, examined how equality, communication and respect shape relationships within families and marriages. Sinha said healthy relationships began at home, where both partners needed the space to express themselves without being controlled or interrupted. “Love, affection and good intentions are not enough on their own in a relationship. Respect is about listening to the other person, understanding their perspective and arriving at decisions together. Honest communication and empathy are essential,” she said.Celebrity stylist and costume designer Shravya Varma said couples needed to establish their own expectations rather than enter marriage with assumptions shaped by society. She said a lack of emotional connection at home could drive people to seek affection and validation elsewhere. “Control is nothing but insecurity in disguise. When expectations in a marriage are mismatched and people do not feel valued at home, even small gestures from elsewhere can begin to feel like affection,” she said.Anudeep Durishetty, joint secretary (IT), said relationships did not always require an equal division of responsibilities. “It is not about being 50:50 in every single situation. What matters is being present for each other and understanding when your partner needs you. Men in relationships today are also making an effort to be more involved and contribute to the relationship,” he said.
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